I heard it every time I turned around: "You're body will NEVER be the same!" "Enjoy being skinny while you can, because it will be impossible after you have kids!" "You'll never get your butt back!"
I could have backhanded some of the people who shared these lovely insights with me. Not because they were wrong, but because they said it with such unkindness. The things they said WERE true, to some extent, but these things need to be shared with love. Especially when you are speaking to a hormonal ball of crazy wrapped in six layers of irrational.
I want to share with new moms and remind moms that have been around a time or two (or five) how our bodies have changed or will change, and why THAT IS OK!
My face is one of the places I notice quite a bit of change. I'm getting older, although I'm by no means old. I thought acne was a thing of adolescence. I thought it would disappear with scrunchies and Boy Meets World. It didn't. I break out worse now than I ever did in highschool. I blame hormones. Also, the fact that I get to wash my face about as often as I pee alone.
My face doesn't have the copper glow it once did when I could make weekly trips to the tanning salon. I never went a lot, but I liked looking like I had blood flow to my head. When I stopped tanning because I, frankly, had no one to watch the kids while I went and layed down for 15 minutes, I would have people ask me if I was feeling ok...(and let's face it, if I DID have 15 free minutes, it wouldn't be spent driving to the tanning salon)
I don't care if you breast fed or not, your boobs will NEVER be the same. I did nurse, and I know that takes an even bigger toll. Remember a long time ago when your breasts sat perky on your chest like a couple of ripe grapefruits? (Some of you may have been blessed with something more the size of canteloupe, sorry, I can't relate on that one.) No longer is that the case. Instead, you have tube socks that have an origin somewhere around your mid-chest and hang down to just below your rib cage if left unbridled.
Your belly? Ahhh. I know a woman who just had twins, and she has her 6 pack back after only 3.5 months. She rocks. I do not. I gained too much during my pregnancies. I got stretch marks. I am thin now, but my tummy isn't tight and toned. I have sagging skin and stretch that will keep me out of a bikini for the rest of my years.
My poor booty also faded away, just like "they" warned me it would. It got REALLY big during pregnancy, then, along with my sanity and sleep, it drifted away, never to be seen again.
My toes...Oh I remember the days when I used to sit in a massage chair and have someone rub my feet, gently sanding off any trace of a callous. These days my toes are covered in 4 month-old lime green nail polish and callouses I could scrub the stuck on macaroni off my floor with. They get trimmed when it is no longer comfortable to put on my shoes, and filing them is out of the question.
My finger nails are in a little better shape than my toes, simply because I can see them. They don't EVER get polished, but will get the occassional filing when I realize I'm scratching my kids during diaper changes. I can grow them to a decent length, but they are usually all varieties of lengths thanks to breaking one here and there while doing dishes, giving baths, opening barbie boxes and being a pack-mule.
Ok. So you get it. Your body has changed or will change. You will never be the same. When these women shared this with me, they simply left it at that. The part they left out is that IT IS OK!! It is ok to have more zits than you used to, to be pale, to be saggy, to be out of style. All of that is ok because you are a MOM! Being a mother is the hardest job I have encountered, and I don't know a single mother who would disagree with that.
I'm NOT saying that you shouldn't take care of yourself. I run. That is my "me" time. I do it for my health, for my sanity, and for the exercise. I do it because I love it. It is the one thing each day that I allow myself to do for ME. That is important. You cannot put yourself at the bottom of the priority list. That being said, there are some things that you have no control over, and things that WILL end up at the bottom, or not even make, said priority list. AND THAT'S OK!
The reason it is ok is because I have two gorgeous baby girls that bring more joy to my life than a six pack EVER could. They brighten my day more than a tanning bed. I focus on them, not on my zits. I'm no longer concerned about my nice tight rump, I'm making sure their's are clean.
I'll leave you with this last thought:
Until next time,
Lady Runner
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