I wanted to talk about this topic, but it’s a sensitive one
for me. You could call it a trauma that has stuck with me and has become my
worst fear. I’m PARANOID about someone touching, taking, physically or
emotionally harming my child. Most parents have that fear in there somewhere,
but mine is amplified. See, I was one of those children. At the age of three, I
was taken.
I don’t want to paint this picture for you of a girl captive
for days, because that’s not at all how it was. I was maybe missing for an evening.
Maybe only an hour, but I can’t be sure exactly how long. Much of it is lost
from my brain possibly to protect me and possibly because of how young I was.
Two things I remember distinctly were how he took me and how my mom got me
back. Everyone in the neighborhood was having a sort of “block party”. A lot of
them were in my yard. Several idiots were offering me a sip of beer then having
a laugh when I made a face about how gross it was. I don’t know why I remember that.
I had at least one friend with me there, but I can’t remember how close to me
she was when the man approached me. He bent down and said “I have kids about
your age. Do you want to meet them?” I shrugged as I was a shy child. He said “Well,
I asked your mom and she said it was okay.” Just like that, he picked me up and
off he went with me. My mom was entertaining people on the porch talking. It
wasn’t that she was neglecting me. I was playing with my neighbor friend and
around plenty of people she KNEW. Keep
that in mind. Most of the time, it’s someone you already know.
That friend of mine I was playing with is now my
sister-in-law actually. She remembers something much different. She’s STILL
traumatized by what happened to me. She brought it up again about a month ago
as one of her worst fears for HER kids. As she remembers it, he knocked me down off of
my bike and took me more aggressively, but I recall none of that. Just goes to
show that a child’s brain does strange things. Whether hers exaggerated because
of the fear she felt or mine toned down so as not to have anxiety for life, it’s
clear we were both very influenced by this.
As for my mom getting me back, it isn’t a very clear story.
I remember blue lights. I remember my mom saying some sort of profanity, taking
me from his arms, and then knocking him OUT…I mean DOWN on his back. That’s
hard to forget. My mom is about 5’4”. Tiny lady, but packed a tremendous punch
when adrenaline hit. She’s always been pretty badass though. :P
So, on that note, kids need to be talked to EARLY. My kids
know this story. I assure them I don’t mean to scare them, but they DO need to
know what to do and not to do.
- · If I don’t say they are going with someone personally, they are not to go anywhere with this person.
- · If anyone touches them in their personal places, they know to tell me no matter what lies they are told by this person about consequences. I have assured them NO HARM will come from telling me anything truthfully.
- · If they are playing in my yard or a friend’s yard and a stranger comes anywhere near, they are to run inside.
- · They are NEVER to open the door for anyone unless I say so.
- · In public, they are not allowed to wander off and are to stay in my sight. They know there could be “bad guys” that could take them.
- · They know when and how to yell the phrase “STRANGER DANGER!”
Start young, but don’t make it scary. They shouldn't fear
the entire world, but they should know to take precautions and view YOU (and your spouse, parents, anyone you FULLY TRUST) as
safety in all circumstances. There used to be a safety DVD that taught it in a “fun
way” but feel free to implement your own techniques. Me personally, I just made
a fun quiz game out of it.
“What do we do when someone knocks at the door?”
That general idea has helped teach my kids, but maybe songs
work better? Be creative, but be informative. You don’t think about this stuff
ever happening to you until it does. Be proactive.
(that being said, they mean it when they say make a fire
escape plan for your house too…I really need to have some safety drills with my
kids soon…I’ll blog about that too. Good thing I married a fireman ;) Haha)
If this blog saves even one child, I’m happy. I hope you all
take this to heart.
-Lady Luck
