What I've learned from my miscarriage

Again with the heavy topics, I know.  I promise I'll lighten up next Monday... If I don't I owe you all a dollar (Please don't take me up on that, I can't afford it with the nearly 1,000 views we get each week haha). However, I really will try to write about a light hearted subject, I feel like I might be the downer of the group right now.  Back to the topic...

What did having a miscarriage teach me about myself? A lot, but here is the gist.

1. I wasn't ready to be a mother yet.  Don't get me wrong, I WANTED more than anything to be a mother to my child, but losing our baby showed me many of my flaws.  
1. I'm not patient...at all. I stop the microwave before the last second (don't worry I clear the second off),  I go to the post office at 10:30 every morning because that is the deadline for when the mail is supposed to be in my box, I don't even like waiting for the Xbox to start up let alone the oven to get up to temp. Not only did I have to wait for us to try and conceive again, I had to wait to be emotionally prepared and then wait 9 months to have our son. 
2. I'm selfish. I wasn't taking care of myself the way I should have been before conception.  After losing our baby I began exercising daily, eating better, etc. I want to be around for our children for a long time, and the way my life was going, I wouldn't have been. I would have rather get my sleep, go out to movies, go to dinner, and do things on our own schedule. I wasn't ready for something or someone to interrupt the way our plans were made. 
2. I am stronger than I ever imagined I could be.  I had to be.  I couldn't let this cripple me.  I still needed to work, I still needed to be there for my husband who was also hurting, and I still needed to go on with my life.  I couldn't just crumble.

What did having a miscarriage teach me about the world?

1. The obvious, life is fragile. It is.  It can be there one moment and taken away from you the next, quicker than anyone could ever imagine. 
2. There are some amazing people out there.  Several of which, I am proud to call my friends and family. 
3. I have a fantastic support system.  The days after my miscarriage I had an outpouring of messages and phone calls of people telling me they loved me and that they were their if I needed them.  I had flowers brought to me by friends. I had friends that just sat there and listened, and cried, and hugged. 
4. I am not alone, and neither are you.  Previously mentioned support system also included friends and family who also lost a little one and shared their stories with me.  Also the resources I listed on last Monday's blog.   
5. Everything happens for a reason.  This was the hardest thing for me to reason with, especially now that we have our son.  Without having our miscarriage, I wouldn't have our son.  Our baby was due at the end of August, on baby's due date I was 10 weeks pregnant. 

I hope you walk away from this post learning a little bit more about yourself or even just understanding your friend or spouse and being able to be there for them.  Remember, no matter the gestation of your baby, they are just that...your baby.  Take time to grieve, give yourself space.  Sit back and evaluate the situation that your in and do what is best for you.  Take care of yourself.

Until next time,

Lady Hurricane.